


Grim Is A Good Sign

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [19]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Getting Back Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Marauders' Era, Patronus, Post-Break Up, Pre-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 04:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Things have been weird between the Marauders ever since James and Sirius broke up, but it turns out that things weren't what Sirius thought.





	Grim Is A Good Sign

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “Hi! Eglyssa here. Could you write a story about James' patronus changing from a stag to a grim/large dog, please? Thank you :)” Eglyssa you star <3 This is notably less fluffy than I think you meant though...
> 
> Originally posted on [tumblr](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com/post/165695315235/hi-eglyssa-here-could-you-write-a-story-about)

Sirius groaned as he fell back onto his bed. If this had been three months ago, he would’ve collapsed on James’s bed, but, well. “I can’t believe they want us to try patronus’s in Defense.”

“It’s a good idea,” Peter said, “with Dementors multiplying at the rate they are.”

“Not the point Petey!”

“There was a point?” Remus muttered dismissively.

“You can’t tell me you think this is a good idea,” Sirius said.

“I do.”

“What?” Sirius leaned up, resting on his elbows. “Why, exactly?”

“The reasons Peter just said?” Remus gave him a ‘duh’ look to match his tone.

“Do I need to remind you lot that we can already make patronus’s? Don’t you think that will be a tad suspicious?”

“You and James get almost everything on the first try,” Peter said, probably trying to be comforting.

With some difficulty, Sirius shot a v at him. Next time he did that, he should probably not have all his weight on his arms. “The _point_ is that Remus is a werewolf, and so is his patronus. Not to mention that we could get caught for being illegal animagi if someone cares to connect the dots.”

“They _don’t_ care though,” James said, and Sirius almost flinched. It felt like all of their interactions were lined with barbs these days.

Sirius leaned up all the way and pulled off his shoes as he started getting ready for bed. “Fine, whatever.” Ever since they’d broken up two months ago, things had been… off. It was _exactly_ the reason Sirius had thought it was a bad idea for them to get together in the first place: James wouldn’t want to be with him for long and then they’d break up and it would be awkward as hell.

Sometimes he hated being right.

He closed his curtains as soon as he was finished changing, then cast a silencing charm. He moved his pillow in front of him to cuddle it, trying to pretend it was James. It didn’t work. He sighed, and moved it back under his head. He missed James like a physical ache, but nothing he did lessened it. Part of him wished he could just ask James to take him back, but James had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t feel that way about Sirius. The problem was, of course, that Sirius was in love with him and James was well aware of that.

* * *

Sirius used an old memory of the Marauders to power his patronus, going back from before they were animagi because anything more recent felt tainted by what had happened between him and James. Padfoot burst from the tip of his wand, wagging his tail as he happily bound over to Moony.

Peter was currently shooting out some shields, trying to find the right memory to use for Wormtail to come out. James however, wasn’t even trying. He was twisting his wand in his hands nervously, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but there. It was a look Sirius was unfortunately well-acquainted with now. He shook the thought from his head, focusing on that time they’d started drawing up the early plans for what would later become the Marauders’ Map. It had been good back then. No one was worried about dating, Voldemort, or Death Eaters. Or maybe people had been, but _they_ hadn’t.

Professor Woods was walking through the room, smiling encouragingly at the students who looked dejected, giving pointers where she could. “James?” she asked when she came around to them. “Do you want to give it a try?”

He didn’t really respond, giving his wand a wave. “Expecto Patronum.” Sirius waited for Prongs to come out and wondered if he’d play with Padfoot, or if it would mimic life now and they’d avoid each other.

Except Padfoot appeared.

James didn’t look surprised, just kept his eyes on his patronus as it ran around, eventually finding Sirius’s. The two grims played together happily until Sirius lost track of who was whose.

Class let out a minute later, and James left ahead of all of them.

Sirius, for his part, didn’t know what he was feeling, but there was a lot of it. So much that he was nearly vibrating by the time he got to the dorm and slammed the door shut behind him. Remus and Peter had stayed down in the common room, not saying anything, but it was obvious, all the same, that they were giving Sirius and James space.

“What the hell was that.”

James pretended like he couldn’t hear him and continued straightening the duvet on his bed uselessly.

Sirius stormed over, putting a hand on his shoulder and shoving him so that he’d have to face him. “What. Was. That.”

James- he just looked sad, so unbearably sad. James shrugged helplessly. “All my best memories have you in it.”

“That’s not it and you know it.” It was part of it maybe, but not the main reason.

James looked down at where Sirius was still gripping him. Sirius let go as if burned and took a half step back. James continued to look where his hand had been. “I miss us. Don’t you?”

“Don’t change the subject,” he grit, but he was feeling more sadness and panic than anger. Of course Sirius missed him, missed _them_. But Merlin and Morgana this was not the time for that conversation.

James apparently disagreed because he blinked slowly, looking at him again. “I broke up with you because I thought it was the right decision. It was supposed to keep us both safe.”

“What? But- you said--”

“I lied.” His fingers brushed against Sirius’s shirt before he pulled back. “We’re blood traitors. It won’t be long before the Death Eaters decide to start targeting people like us. Add in that we’re both men and we wouldn’t stand a chance; you know they ‘disagree’ with relationships like that.”

Sirius floundered a bit. This was _not_ what he expected when he had stomped up the stairs bare minutes ago. “Since when do we care what other people think?”

“Since they could kill us, Sirius. Yeah, I love you, but I’m not sure a relationship would be worth it if it gets you killed!”

“...You love me?”

“I- well _yes_ but that’s not the part I wanted you to focus on.”

Sirius covered James’s mouth with his hand. “I love you. And if you love me, then we should be together, and sod what anyone else thinks. Death Eaters would find a reason to target us whether we gave them one or not. Let’s just,” he moved his hand to cup James’s cheek, “let’s just _be_ , okay?” He leaned in and kissed him chastely. “And don’t break up with me again unless you mean it.”

“Won’t happen,” James assured him, kissing him back. “This is a bad idea.”

“Whatever you say, Prongs. You never did say why your patronus was Padfoot, though.”

“Yes I did. All my happiest memories have you.” He kissed his cheek. “And I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt driven blog @[imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Please send in a prompt of your own!


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